About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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