Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
