You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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