Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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