Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
