Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
