I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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