He is such a slut. More and more my type.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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