Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
