dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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