She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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