IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
