Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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