I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
