we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
