Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
