I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Couch. On fire.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
