the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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