Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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