I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
