You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
