dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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