Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
