do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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