and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
