I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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