He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
