i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
