we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
