I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
