it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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