oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
