don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
