Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
