I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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