i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
