Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
