I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize