Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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