is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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