Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
