Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
