I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
