I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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