She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
