My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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