he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
