I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
