my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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