Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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