why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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