The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
