if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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