you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Randomize
