She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
