I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
