She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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