I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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