I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
