can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
